We were humbled by the overwhelmingly positive responses to It is as if you were doing work 👷♀️, the simulation created by Pippin Barr in which you get to file reports 🗒📉👨💻🏧🌐, watch progress bars and fiddle with arcane inputs to get that retro feeling of doing work 📈🗄👩💻📋📨❣️ After years of depression and aimlessness in our post-work society, countless users such as yourself have finally started to feel once again like their lives and their efforts actually mean something. Your continued operation of this system not only comes to us as an honest compliment 🙏, it is also a clear sign that we have struck a chord with our users.
However, the huge success of our application notwithstanding, many of you voiced your concerns regarding the nostalgic feel of the interface, as well as the lack of consideration for the huge breadth of occupations in the pre-post-work society. We know: some of you weren’t just middle management working bees, you were 👩🎤rock star designers👨🎤, 👨💼daring entrepreneurs👩💼 or even 🏃always-online temporary workers😆. As your well-being is of the utmost importance to us, today we are releasing three new products which are sure to please you old millennials ❤️💁♂️👼🌝👼❤️👼💸👼🙅🌈.
First, we present It is as if you were being creative. In it you will not be a mindless employee, but a passionate creative for a world-renowned 🕺advertising agency💃. You will be able to unleash your inner artist 💁♂️👩🎨😍, choose nice looking fonts and create amazing artworks destined to sell useless goods to simulated target audiences who barely need them. Change the world one sale at a time 🌎🌍🌏, explore your vast and unique creativity through our template galleries🌹🌺🌼, and, best of all, end each working day with the certainty that you have contributed to the progress of mankind 🙈🙉🙊🐒💋. Remember: your passion is important, revenue is importanter 🔥🔥💥🔥🔥.
If working for some big studio is not your cup of tea, we also offer It is as if you were being creative: Entrepreneur Edition 😼😼😼😼😎👀. Be your own boss! Enjoy endless hours of networking to find that one special depressing gig that might pay the bills. Lower your rates to remain competitive with youngsters fresh out of high-school ❤️💛💚💙💜. Or, if you are feeling particularly adventurous, generate countless startup ideas by mashing together increasingly dystopian products that are sure to catch a seed investor’s eye 🏆👽👩🚀📱⌚️📧🏅.
And if being creative for you is just a sick 🎩💶bourgeois💷🎩 privilege, we have developed It is as if you were doing work: Gig economy edition. See how the exploitation of work is engineered away by clever entrepreneurs who give you all the flexibility you need to balance your 21st century needs in exciting and adventurous new ways 👨🔬🍤✨🔮🏖. Relive the joy of earning below the minimum wage! Juggle 4 different gig apps, household chores, personal relationships and sleep time with all the freedom you need! Sign contracts in which you forfeit all your rights for the thrill of despair! Will you meet your Key Performance Indicators? Will you be able to get enough gigs to at least cover work expenses? You got this!🍪🍩💪🏿💪🏻 We are confident the nerve-wracking suspense of this simulation will leave you hungry for more and more freedom! 😍😍😍
We feel that this suite of applications will help you recover the feeling of productiveness 🔆 in a time when work was not only a matter of pressing buttons, but of pressing buttons passionately and resolutely, with the absolute certainty that the world was becoming a better place. Oh, these jolly good times! 👷♀️👮♀️👨🎤👩🌾👨🔬👩🎨👩🚒👨🚀👯♂️💇♂️🕴😍😍😻💙💙💙💯🔆
Thank you for making extensive use of our simulations!
Originally published on Pervasive Labour Union Zine #11 – Entreprecariat.