It’s As If You Were Doing Work โ€“ Review

Dear user,

We were humbled by the overwhelmingly positive responses to It is as if you were doing work ๐Ÿ‘ทโ€โ™€๏ธ, the simulation created by Pippin Barr in which you get to file reports ๐Ÿ—’๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿง๐ŸŒ, watch progress bars and fiddle with arcane inputs to get that retro feeling of doing work ๐Ÿ“ˆ๐Ÿ—„๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ“‹๐Ÿ“จโฃ๏ธ After years of depression and aimlessness in our post-work society, countless users such as yourself have finally started to feel once again like their lives and their efforts actually mean something. Your continued operation of this system not only comes to us as an honest compliment ๐Ÿ™, it is also a clear sign that we have struck a chord with our users.

However, the huge success of our application notwithstanding, many of you voiced your concerns regarding the nostalgic feel of the interface, as well as the lack of consideration for the huge breadth of occupations in the pre-post-work society. We know: some of you werenโ€™t just middle management working bees, you were ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐ŸŽคrock star designers๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽค, ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ’ผdaring entrepreneurs๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ผ or even ๐Ÿƒalways-online temporary workers๐Ÿ˜†. As your well-being is of the utmost importance to us, today we are releasing three new products which are sure to please you old millennials โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ‘ผโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ™…๐ŸŒˆ.

First, we present It is as if you were being creative. In it you will not be a mindless employee, but a passionate creative for a world-renowned ๐Ÿ•บadvertising agency๐Ÿ’ƒ. You will be able to unleash your inner artist ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜, choose nice looking fonts and create amazing artworks destined to sell useless goods to simulated target audiences who barely need them. Change the world one sale at a time ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ, explore your vast and unique creativity through our template galleries๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒผ, and, best of all, end each working day with the certainty that you have contributed to the progress of mankind ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’‹. Remember: your passion is important, revenue is importanter ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ.

If working for some big studio is not your cup of tea, we also offer It is as if you were being creative: Entrepreneur Edition ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘€. Be your own boss! Enjoy endless hours of networking to find that one special depressing gig that might pay the bills. Lower your rates to remain competitive with youngsters fresh out of high-school โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ. Or, if you are feeling particularly adventurous, generate countless startup ideas by mashing together increasingly dystopian products that are sure to catch a seed investorโ€™s eye ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ“ฑโŒš๏ธ๐Ÿ“ง๐Ÿ….

And if being creative for you is just a sick ๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ’ถbourgeois๐Ÿ’ท๐ŸŽฉ privilege, we have developed It is as if you were doing work: Gig economy edition. See how the exploitation of work is engineered away by clever entrepreneurs who give you all the flexibility you need to balance your 21st century needs in exciting and adventurous new ways ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿคโœจ๐Ÿ”ฎ๐Ÿ–. Relive the joy of earning below the minimum wage! Juggle 4 different gig apps, household chores, personal relationships and sleep time with all the freedom you need! Sign contracts in which you forfeit all your rights for the thrill of despair! Will you meet your Key Performance Indicators? Will you be able to get enough gigs to at least cover work expenses? You got this!๐Ÿช๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป We are confident the nerve-wracking suspense of this simulation will leave you hungry for more and more freedom! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

We feel that this suite of applications will help you recover the feeling of productiveness ๐Ÿ”† in a time when work was not only a matter of pressing buttons, but of pressing buttons passionately and resolutely, with the absolute certainty that the world was becoming a better place. Oh, these jolly good times! ๐Ÿ‘ทโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐ŸŒพ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿš’๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ”†

Thank you for making extensive use of our simulations!

Originally published on Pervasive Labour Union Zine #11 โ€“ Entreprecariat.